Happy but not satisfied

I’m delighted that my first little book is being bought. It’s not going to be hitting the best sellers list any time soon, but it is being bought.

When I was writing it I didn’t have a clue how many copies of the finished article I’d sell, but I had a figure of 400 in the back of my head as an ‘acceptable‘ number. Actually, ‘satisfying’ is probably a more suitable description than ‘acceptable’. Yes, ‘satisfying’. I was going to be satisfied if I sold 400 copies of my first little book. Any number over and above that would be a bonus.

Some might say that 400 was a low figure to aim for. But, this was my first try at publishing a book and I had absolutely no idea how well received it would be, let alone how to go about punting it. I knew I’d be doing the leg work mostly on my own (no big publishing company behind me just yet…) so if I managed to sell 400 I’d be happy. I’d be raising a fair few pennies for Women V Cancer, I’d be raising awareness of the signs and symptoms of ovarian, breast and cervical cancer and I’d be reaching my personal target.

Well, I’ve now passed that target and the sales are still coming in. I’ve sold more copies than my ‘acceptable’ target. So I should be satisfied.

But I’m not. I’m happy. But I’m not satisfied.

I’m watching the funds raised for Women V Cancer rising, I’m receiving lovely feedback, and I’m getting better at acknowledging and accepting that the book is having quite an impact on some of its readers.

But I’m aiming for more: more funds raised, more awareness raised and more people ‘getting’ something from the book.

I don’t have a new target. I don’t know when I’ll feel satisfied. I’ll just have to keep on working away at selling more copies until I am.

For now though, I’m happy to settle for just being happy.


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